Sober and then what?
Sobriety suits some people.
To others, it is more destructive than productive.
Physical health is not important, - we all get ill from time to time and we all finally succumb to the dying of cells, be it disease or simply old age. Mental health is a different matter.
Our brain deteriorates over time, and as such it is no different than the rest of our corpus.
The difference lies in how aware you are of this deterioration, and how you decide to fill the void in-between now and then. Your body doesn't care whether it's Tuesday or Thursday, whether you work or you don't , whether we're at war or not. But your mind is constantly affected by this, both consciously and unconsciously (and in my view the two are identical, - the latter being invented as an excuse for thoughts and actions that are socially unacceptable). This is going nowhere. An apt description of my sober mental state. As a consequence of merely a week's worth of abstinence, my dreams have returned. I now wake up three to four times a night completely puzzled, often at unease and with absurd visions of what may or may not be.
When I awoke abruptly around four this morning, I had survived what seemed like an eternity on a rusty bulk of a ship, witnessed a dazzling display of dismembered cocks, had my foot caught in an anchor and been thrown out of a Islamic after-school activity class for recounting aforementioned mentioned events to a Dutch teenage girl. When I managed to fall asleep again, I found myself being chased by a petty drug dealer who despite all the beatings and frankly crude attempts at 'making him see sense' still persisted in being alive and carrying a grudge. When he finally died, I awoke. All in a night's work. It was neither pleasant nor productive, and I'm fucking knackered.
I cannot remember being this highly strung ever. And mentally off balance. I may have to go back on the bend.
To others, it is more destructive than productive.
Physical health is not important, - we all get ill from time to time and we all finally succumb to the dying of cells, be it disease or simply old age. Mental health is a different matter.
Our brain deteriorates over time, and as such it is no different than the rest of our corpus.
The difference lies in how aware you are of this deterioration, and how you decide to fill the void in-between now and then. Your body doesn't care whether it's Tuesday or Thursday, whether you work or you don't , whether we're at war or not. But your mind is constantly affected by this, both consciously and unconsciously (and in my view the two are identical, - the latter being invented as an excuse for thoughts and actions that are socially unacceptable). This is going nowhere. An apt description of my sober mental state. As a consequence of merely a week's worth of abstinence, my dreams have returned. I now wake up three to four times a night completely puzzled, often at unease and with absurd visions of what may or may not be.
When I awoke abruptly around four this morning, I had survived what seemed like an eternity on a rusty bulk of a ship, witnessed a dazzling display of dismembered cocks, had my foot caught in an anchor and been thrown out of a Islamic after-school activity class for recounting aforementioned mentioned events to a Dutch teenage girl. When I managed to fall asleep again, I found myself being chased by a petty drug dealer who despite all the beatings and frankly crude attempts at 'making him see sense' still persisted in being alive and carrying a grudge. When he finally died, I awoke. All in a night's work. It was neither pleasant nor productive, and I'm fucking knackered.
I cannot remember being this highly strung ever. And mentally off balance. I may have to go back on the bend.
posted by tseuq at 2/08/2006 10:22:00 am
2 Comments:
you'll get used to the dreams, trust me... at least life becomes more surreal, ergo less boring. Waking up 4 or 5 times a night seems to me to be a regular result of growing old and sleeping lighter- hence more dreams. Being highly strung is only a result of previously not being conscious (cross reference statement with definition in post)that such thoughts/ brain patterns were occuring regularly. Therefore a change in your social patterns (i.e. sobriety), has changed the definition of social acceptablility in your brain- therefore forcing you to become aware of something that previously was socially unacceptable, that is, your dream experiences. In other words, people who are fucked on drugs don't want to hear about your dreams, therefore why should someone who is fucked on drugs bother being aware of them. Now that you are sober, you have no interesting drug stories to tell drug friends- so you have become aware of your dreams so that you have something extra-ordinary to tell people who are sober. I don't wanna hear you say that's bollocks- It's as meaningful as anything else is, and probably true... partially.
are you editing these comments?.. so much for free speech- fucking Danish.
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