Who woud want an ex like that?
Left work, went home, made dinner, got stoned. Not extremely eventful, but that was the plan.
Around 2030hrs Petka showed up, keen on dragging me down to the 'Ditch to check out a gig at Plastic People on Curtain Road. I wasn't exactly ecstatic about going, and considering Petka looked like he could sleep standing I had hoped the whole thing could be avoided. Alas no such luck. We played a quick £5 Hold 'Em game (which I lost, surprisingly) and then we headed out. The moment we left the great British summer delivered us one of its fantastic June showers. A few cans of beer were bought and it was decided (once again to my displeasure) that a little rain wasn't going to put us off. We walked towards Shoreditch in the pissing rain, drinking Heineken and talking rubbish. It was almost eleven at night and the 'Ditch was fairly empty, probably due to the shit weather. Once inside, the ex-girlfriend of Petka's colleague began a form of sexual harassment that didn't finish until we left. Oddly enough, Petka didn't bite on this occasion (it seems she was too much even for his gutter standards :) ). True to form I just drank, nodded politely when told I looked like Christian Slater and tried to catch some looks from the more enticing of the female punters. I was eyeing this one girl up for some time, and I thought I may had established something. A few minutes later I was chatting to the DJ of the evening's band, who introduced me to aforementioned lass as her girlfriend. She waved at me with a smile that said 'BUSTED', and all I could muster was a limp wave in return. More drinks followed. The band were ok, not my cup of tea and to be honest rather dull, but they went down well with the crowd. Petka's reverse coquetry had no effect on the female beast who had pounced on him. She was a royal pain in the ass, totally over the top. Had she been a man I may have punched her. Petka went to the toilet and I overheard the beast giving a status report to her ex-boyfriend with regards to her potential conquest. "I think it's going really well" she shouted in her annoying voice. I had to quell a laugh and sensed that things could go either way at this juncture. Now the ex-boyfriend started to get the jitters, and in a private moment made Petka promise that he wouldn't fuck his ex. Hahahahaha. Not even Petka could see the attraction of this hybrid nuisance, and I actually felt sorry for the ex-boyfriend. He should be ashamed of himself (and his ex), rather than feel threatened by Petka's obvious rejections.
As a strangely deflated and defeated looking ex made his excuses, Petka and I both knew this was the time to make a run for it or get stuck with the howler.
It was only at this moment in time the beast herself realised that the chase was over before it had even begun.
I am still not quite sure why I went last night.
Around 2030hrs Petka showed up, keen on dragging me down to the 'Ditch to check out a gig at Plastic People on Curtain Road. I wasn't exactly ecstatic about going, and considering Petka looked like he could sleep standing I had hoped the whole thing could be avoided. Alas no such luck. We played a quick £5 Hold 'Em game (which I lost, surprisingly) and then we headed out. The moment we left the great British summer delivered us one of its fantastic June showers. A few cans of beer were bought and it was decided (once again to my displeasure) that a little rain wasn't going to put us off. We walked towards Shoreditch in the pissing rain, drinking Heineken and talking rubbish. It was almost eleven at night and the 'Ditch was fairly empty, probably due to the shit weather. Once inside, the ex-girlfriend of Petka's colleague began a form of sexual harassment that didn't finish until we left. Oddly enough, Petka didn't bite on this occasion (it seems she was too much even for his gutter standards :) ). True to form I just drank, nodded politely when told I looked like Christian Slater and tried to catch some looks from the more enticing of the female punters. I was eyeing this one girl up for some time, and I thought I may had established something. A few minutes later I was chatting to the DJ of the evening's band, who introduced me to aforementioned lass as her girlfriend. She waved at me with a smile that said 'BUSTED', and all I could muster was a limp wave in return. More drinks followed. The band were ok, not my cup of tea and to be honest rather dull, but they went down well with the crowd. Petka's reverse coquetry had no effect on the female beast who had pounced on him. She was a royal pain in the ass, totally over the top. Had she been a man I may have punched her. Petka went to the toilet and I overheard the beast giving a status report to her ex-boyfriend with regards to her potential conquest. "I think it's going really well" she shouted in her annoying voice. I had to quell a laugh and sensed that things could go either way at this juncture. Now the ex-boyfriend started to get the jitters, and in a private moment made Petka promise that he wouldn't fuck his ex. Hahahahaha. Not even Petka could see the attraction of this hybrid nuisance, and I actually felt sorry for the ex-boyfriend. He should be ashamed of himself (and his ex), rather than feel threatened by Petka's obvious rejections.
As a strangely deflated and defeated looking ex made his excuses, Petka and I both knew this was the time to make a run for it or get stuck with the howler.
It was only at this moment in time the beast herself realised that the chase was over before it had even begun.
I am still not quite sure why I went last night.
posted by tseuq at 6/30/2005 02:58:00 pm
5 Comments:
Ha, enjoyed that one, hybrid nuisance, very nice! You made her sound pretty terrible. The dj was female and had a girlfriend, is that right? (Joep)
Was a bit harsh on Petka - his standards are not gutter level. and he's getting laid a lot more than I am at the moment (about 100% more..).
JOEP: No there was no lesbionage involved as far as I could gather. What makes you say that?
"A few minutes later I was chatting to the DJ of the evening's band, who introduced me to aforementioned lass as -her- girlfriend." Maybe I was getting fantasy and reality mixed up but doesn't that passage say that? Anyway it is not what you meant so it doesn't matter. (joep)
I see. A small typo. Would have been a better story that way!
Yeah, that was a bit scary- and I've seen some heavy things in my time... I think the nonchalance that I affected throughout the escapade was facilitated mostly by dark rum. BTW, I'm probably the only person who knows why tseuq went out that night. Petka
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