What do you mean you've never tasted Canadian muffin?

The only thing more retarded than Denmark laying claim to Hans Island is Canada laying claim to the same. In terms of geography Canada is the more logical choice for ownership, but who cares about logic?
The Danes have just released an open-source beer known as Our Beer or Vores Øl in Danish ( http://www.voresoel.dk ). If the Danes are willing to share their beer brewing secrets (and they have many - they make the best beer in the world), surely the stiff Canadians can share a bit of rock?

My theory is that the Canadians keep violating Danish sovereignty just to get the booze the Danes place under their flags when they patrol their kingdom. Gammel Dansk (or 'Olde Danish') is a world-renowned brandy capable of curing even the most fervent hangover, and quite capable of causing one such too.
The Canadians' reposte? Placing whiskey under their flags.
First of all, any spirit from the North America's is by default second rate to that of anything produced in the old world. Secondly, it is unfair to to leave alcoholic piss in such remote places. What if a polar bear needed a strong drink? Would you be happy to let it drink Canadian whiskey?
Me neither. For the sake of ensuring clean alcohol for our arctic furry friends, I say ban Canada.