BLAH BLAH WORK BLAH BLAH

Working on a Friday is about as much fun as ignoring an ingrown toenail.

Here is a list of valid excuses to get yourself off work, so you can enjoy the weekend early:

* Claim you are 7 hours away from solving world peace
* Just tell 'em you're ill. Works every time for me
* Pretend that you're a witness in a high-profile drug smuggling case and that you have to miss work by order of the Queen's Magistrates
* Argue that you have to stay at home, because your bong won't smoke it self
* Fake amnesia. When you return on Monday and they query you about it, just tell them that you've forgotten
* Tell them unless they let you go home early, they are liable to prosecution for discrimination against people who don't like working on Fridays
* Claim to owe Boris Becker some cash. If they ask you the relevance of this with regards to taking the day off, start crying. Leave the building for exactly 37 minutes then return wearing a stars and stripes bandana. If this doesn't work, quit. Working is fucking shit anyway.