Chill Out

Guilfest2005_20050716_027
Originally uploaded by Carlsson.

The Lord Bramley and yours truly, enjoying a moment with some nitrous.

Damn Canadians - at it again!

In all this current anti-US, anti-UK mayhem one crucial world oppressor has been overlooked and left to do their own acts of aggression outside of the sphere of media interest.
It seems Canada has decided to declare an act of war on the sovereignty of Denmark (Scandinavia, Northern Europe in case you're a Yank) by entering Danish territory in Greenland unannounced. The Canadians were probably hoping no one was paying attention so they could annexe Hans Island under the noses of international law.
"We consider Hans Island to be part of Danish territory and will therefore hand over a complaint about the Canadian minister's unannounced visit," head of the department of International Public Law at Denmark's Foreign Ministry, Peter Taksoe-Jensen, told Reuters.
The dispute seems to have started in the early seventies, when borders between the alcoholic Canadians and the alcoholic Eskimos were drawn up. According to the BBC, "in 1984 a Danish minister, Tom Hoeyem, caused a stir when he visited the island and raised the Danish flag. Mr Hoeyem also buried a bottle of brandy at the base of the flagpole and left a note saying welcome to Denmark".
How much more proof of sovereignty do you need? A flag and a bottle of brandy (no doubt pinched by the locals after Mr. Hoeyem's departure and finished that very night).
So what does the Canadians do?
Put up a flag and leave a bottle of whiskey. Not exactly class, and not exactly original. Why are they interested in Hans Island? Considering it is roughly 100 metres wide, there's no maple trees growing there, and no one finishes a sentence with 'Eh', it would seem an odd place to conquer. Maybe they've found out that Eskimos with no prior training are better at hockey than any Canadian national and want to ensure the Canadian teams stay competitive? Considering all great hockey players in Canada are Swedish, Finnish or Czech this doesn't seem like an unlikely motive.
In either case, I sincerely hope that Denmark declare war on those 'Strange Brew' guzzling, maple syrup slobbing no-good poor excuses for Americans. Then we'll see. Vikings discovered North America half a millennium before a certain Portuguese explorer even came close, and that was done in small wooden longboats, not fancy frigates of the 15th century. Furthermore, instead of enslaving the local population and raping all their natural resources, the Vikings simply traded and built a few temporary camps. Should Canada fail to acknowledge what is essentially Denmark, I will certainly don my horned helmet, two handed axe and jar of warm mead and personally sail across the seas for revenge.
I bet the French Canadians are responsible, some how. I have no proof, but I feel it in my Nordic gut. Vikings laid siege to Paris for several months too, you know.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4715245.stm

My Premise

Seeing as no one reads my previous posts and as a result get highly incensed by comments in my recent ones, I think perhaps I should clarify something:
I commend all people who strongly believe in a better world for all, and who are not afraid to voice their opinions and attempt to facilitate change. If my comments offend any such individuals, they haven't been following my posts. I think we can all agree that there is much room for improvement, despite there not being much room for humans.
My beef is with people who try to impose their views on the majority without doing so in a productive or positive manner, and who see it as their duty to oppose the people whose support we all need for things to get better. The work of people who want a better world is crucial for such an event to take place. Why do they accept having their just causes hijacked by 'idealists' who would be just as happy in a Hitler jugend uniform as their chosen semi-guerilla outfits?
What message was sent out by protesters at the G8?
No one knows because all the public saw on the news was a group of teenage 'rebels' dressed in black intent on fighting the police. Where was the message? If it was 'Smash Kapital', then I'm afraid no ground will ever be won. To most people watching things unfold, the message could just as easily have been "we want to cause trouble and have a go. Fuck the police and fuck you." Which is commendable if your peer group is 18 year old criminals. Not so if you aim to convince the majority of society of your 'alternative'.
All good work done by concerned citizens and peaceful promoters of change is negated by the action of a few, in my view ignorant louts whose alternative to the status quo seems to be one of chaos, violence and lack of respect for others.
Maybe I haven't made this point clear and if so I apologise.

A bullet to the head

My condolences to the family of Jean Charles de Menezes. The loss of innocent lives, especially under circumstances such as these, is regrettable.
Personally I would not like to be shot five times in the head on my way to work (well maybe on my way TO work, but certainly not on my way back.) I do feel, however, that the resulting ho-ha is turning into one of those media stories that do no good but sell papers.
The family announced that they were thinking of suing the Met, and in an emotional statement on the news, a cousin of Menezes said the police should be stopped or else they would kill 'thousands more'.

Thousands more??

This is not Brazil, mate. The police don't shot people at a whim in Peckham on a daily basis, and we don't have favellas. In fact, hardly any of the police on UK streets carry fire-arms.
Given the circumstances leading up to the accidental shooting, I see no reasons why the Met should be sued. If a person fails to stop when told so by the police, and then proceeds to run into a busy underground station in the aftermath of a recent spate of bombing attacks, I would want that person to be restrained. Had he been a terrorist and managed to blow up and kill other people, the Met would have been criticised for not doing enough.

In Sao Paolo the police kill an estimated 600 people a year. Compare this to the amount of people killed by police in Europe per year and you get things into perspective. Had the victim been any one else but Menezes, I doubt the family would be on such a crusade.

Why run from the police in the first place? It is arguable that, because of his background in the slums of Brazil, Menezes' gut instinct was to run (and presumably given his background that is an instinct that would serve him well in Brazil). Sadly this is not how things work in the UK, and the Met shouldn't be chastised too much for not being aware of such circumstances.

Of course the whole incident should be properly investigated in the interest of public transparency, and I have no doubt that such an investigation is already in full swing.

But shit happens. It could have been me, it could have been you. I for one am certain that my family wouldn't sue had I failed to stop to armed police and then proceeded act in a fashion as to suggest I had something to hide. And yes, the Met are right to shoot. Only a moron would run full steam into a busy underground station chased by police a day after the most recent of bombing attempts in our city. We continuously expect the police to give us results, but we don't allow for any errors. And the police are, after all, humans too.

Whatever Menezes reasons were (and I suspect we'll never know), it was unfortunate but not a declaration of war on Brazil and certainly not extreme incompetence on behalf of the Met in my view. The ongoing investigation may prove me wrong, and I will gladly accept findings contrary to my views. But the hysteria currently being whipped up by the media and the relatives of Menezes helps no one, least of all Jean Charles.

London's Calling, Part IV

13:45

Another Thursday, another incident on the underground. No proper information yet, but apparently the police are outside our office and they're not letting people leave. Incidents have allegedly taken place on a 26 bus near Hackney, and on Oval, Warren Street and Shepherd's Bush stations. My suspicions are that this time we are talking about pranks, or at least poorly executed attempts lacking know-how and planning.

14:00

Bbc.co.uk attribute the explosions to detonators having been set off without any explosives present. My prank / poorly organised attack theory may hold weight. Sky News website stated early that one person's bag exploded on the tube, but only with so much power as to split the bag. The individual was said to look dismayed.
Is this possibly the work of renegade individuals who have set it upon themselves to continue the terror? Chaos has certainly been the result, but with no fatalities and no confirmation of any explosives being used it would seem it is the work of amateurs, not professionally trained terrorists. Smoke and strange smells have been reported at some of the incidents. Perhaps the 'bombs' are dirty ones, i.e. gas or biochemical. Seems unlikely however. Perhaps it's just a stupid prank ?
Going for lunch in 15.. will survey the streets.

14:23

Still at work. Reports of one casualty is coming through, however the condition of said individual is unknown. Several people report seeing persons with backpacks "exploding".
The explosions mentioned were so small in nature it would seem they were the result of detonators going off without any explosives attached. Confusing to say the least.

15:36

Back from lunch. Most of Shoreditch / Hackney Road is cordoned off, and as I left the police were moving the line further towards Curtain Road. This attack is indeed perplexing.
According to several news sites, a man has been arrested, and people are told to be on the look-out for a 6'2" male of Asian origin with 'wires protruding from his top'.
Is it possible that a group of people have decided to carry on the attacks but with much less expertise than would have been the case had organised terrorism been behind? The prank theory seems a bit off, I admit. My bet is on a hastily assembled group of people doing Al-Qaeda's bidding but without their help and knowledge base. Time will tell. Until more facts are known I suppose I'll have to keep checking the news and scouring the net for updates.

Another one

Never trust a person with a bookshelf full of the same book (Petka, 19/7/05)

Rehearsed with dbs last night. We are getting tighter and tighter. The next step is to get our newly recruited drummer up to speed, and we should be ready to rock.
The O'C had to scarper around eight, and so Petka and I went to Café Kick on Exmouth Market. The place is a South American / Latin sort of joint, complete with nouveau funk, Mohitos and fussball tables. Petka wasn't wearing his glasses, so most encounters of the opposite sexual kind were experiences for him (only joking - Petka's desire to become an 'ageing lothario' seems to be bearing fruit). Had a couple of San Miguels, checked out te talent and played some fussball (when in Rome etc). The conversation soon turned to our favourite topic - the state of the world today and more importantly, capitalism.
Surprisingly (perhaps for both of us), we agreed on pretty much every point.
In essence, capitalism (and democracy) IS the utopian way of life for the human race. And the only way to solicit change is to work within the system. One cannot expect miracles overnight. Now the day that the so-called 'activists' (a fantastic umbrella term encompassing everything from anti-fox hunt protesters through to the black bloc) actually propose an alternative that is viable, inclusive and long-term, how can the public not follow suit? Problem is, of course, that when cornered, none of the 'activists' actually have ANY alternatives to put in place, or at least not any that doesn't simply involve vandalism or tunnel vision politics. What they fail to grasp in my opinion, is the fact that moaning and wanting to change things is pointless and immature unless a better system has been devised which can take the place of the exisiting status quo. It's akin to being a five-year old kid who refuses to clean his room, but is incapable of suggesting how else it should be done. It's an empty, childish statement. I don't like it, but if I mona enough someone else will or should fix it.
Moan moan. Some of my friends would strongly disagree, claiming that there is nothing wrong with wanting to change the system. I wholeheartedly concur. But in order to change something, you will need a system with which to replace the existing one. Unless you have an idea of what the alternative should be, shut up, go home and work one out. Otherwise you are not really facilitating change, you are hoping that others will do it for you (and if they do, will you be happy?)
Ever thought what would happen if say tomorrow, as a result of 'resistance', Tony Blair told the 'activists' to come to Downing Street and flesh out Britain for the future? What plans do you think they would propose? How would they deal with the NHS, with social security, education, public transport, childhood obesity, teenage pregnancy, drugs, violence, the law and so forth (ad infinitum)?
- Exactly, none of them really think beyond the completely inappropriate concept of 'resistance' as a be all and end all (give me a break, resisting what exactly? This is the West for fuck sake). It is so laughable that I am ashamed to be middle-class. The working class don't give a toss about anti-capitalists (another great label; it's like claiming to be anti-philosophy) so the very people whose cause these middleclass 'rebels' claim to champion have no interest in their 'help'.
Finally, how can obstructing a police cordon help solve third world debt or the injustices of the 'enslaved masses'? To date, no one has been able to give me a straight answer as to what this so-called resistance actually has or will achieve. All I get is the tired mantra of "at least we are trying" or "you have to put up resistance".
Not very well thought out, but then again spoilt middle-class people with a authority problem tend not to think things through. I am not blind to the faults of Western society and I pity those that are, but I also have the intelligence to spot that throwing bricks, smashing a car or chaining yourself to a JCB is about as useful a measure for facilitating change and winning supporters for your cause as trying to eat soup with chopsticks.
I want change too, but I want change which is viable, rational and of considerable longevity. Smashing capitalism (however futile and unproductive and physically impossible) is not really an option, unless a better system can be put in its place. Work with the system, not against it.
If you want confrontation, go to a country where it is needed.
Cops don't make policy. Attacking them or the property of the majority isn't exactly giving a positive message for change. It is simply saying "we are unhappy so we'll break stuff", or "we are promoting a new system whereby goals are attained through violence and non-negotiation". Sounds familiar?

Things to do before deciding to kill yourself, part I

Sweden_20050309_017
Originally uploaded by Carlsson.

* Make sure
* Take out as many loans as possible and spend it all on drugs. If you're gonna go you may as well go in style
* Burn all your personal possesions
* Make to do lists on your blog
* Stop answering the phone - what's the point?
* Let your personal hygiene become non-existent. Quite frankly, the extent to which your teeth look clean will play absolutely no role in making the paramedics' job any more enjoyable (and why should you care what they think? You're dead for fucks sake).
* Pick a method you like, and stick to it. My suggestion is smack, barbituates and a bottle of buckfast.
* Make a prank call to a stranger your last known act on earth

Leave it all behind

Guilfest2005_20050716_033
Originally uploaded by Carlsson.

Blood sugar levels falling fast. Only an hour to go but it may as well be a year.
The treadmill. Tomorrow will be no different. And the holiday I am entitled to will pass quicker than a doner kebab through a weak constitution.
There must be another way. When will it all just end?

The world, 520 years later, and the subject of Japan in the evening.

Just went for a sandwich near Liverpool Street.
This drunkard decided to sit next to me, and he provided ample entertainment.
As well as drinking white wine from the bottle, chain-smoking and swearing profusely, he also seemed to have a unique twist on the world as a whole.
At one point he exclaimed "The world became as one in 1485 - what have you been doing since then?". When no reply was forthcoming, he began a rather convincing rendition of the Beatles classic 'Yesterday', only to stop halfway through and shout "Fucking arseholes! Fucking cunting arseholes!" to no one in particular (at that point I realised that I had probably more or less been doing the same thing as he had in the last 520 years, i.e. drinking and swearing and generally not making sense).
Minutes later he invited everyone to stand up (which was smooth considering he was the only person sitting down). The desired effect was clearly not reached, and he began almost pleading with the passers by to just stand up. Seconds later it was forgotten, and he returned to his eloquent monologue.
By the time I left he was trying to convince his surroundings that Japan DID sound better later in the evening. He was obviously not well, but who is?

Sort it out

101_0105_3
Originally uploaded by omni1.

And how are you going to abolish capitalism? Who owns it? It's a concept.
Humans make the world a bad place, not capitalism. Capitalism is not simply the idea of profit, although most abolish activists fail to see that.
Human nature makes us focus on profits and acts of self-preservation.
We are to blame.
There's no use in pointing a finger at capitalism (the evil 'entity') when we should look at ourselves.
People instinctively have the interests of themselves and those genetically closest to them at heart first and foremost. The next step down the ladder individuals have the interests of their immediate culture and way of life (religion for example) at heart.
This has been proven time and time again. In fact, we are genetically programmed to look after and ensure the survival of our family. Brothers / sisters first, then children, then cousins and so on. Basically we are intent on ensuring that our genetic chain gets perpetuated.
Doesn't sound unreasonable.
But that is why we in the west have capitalism and every poor kid in Africa wants it.
You can't tell a poor, uneducated child in the third world that Nike trainers are bad because of the exploitation involved in their production. I'll bet you anything he would still want a pair. Greed is human.
But of course there is greed associated with attempting to provide the best and as much comfort for your family to ensure they can continue your genetic line, and then there is greed for the hell of it.
My point is, that capitalism is the combined desires of all those who inhabit it. Capitalism doesn't have to be bad because of this.
No one thought organic vegetables would take off because they were so expensive. Now some would argue that expensive things get sold less than cheap things, because everyone wants to make a profit.
What happened? Sales of organic food products has steadily risen. You see once humans had decided that they really WANTED to eat organic food, for whatever justification, they didn't mind paying a bit more. As a result prices have too been dropping (slowly but surely). This is capitalism. It is just another word for a market place.
Now both the US and the UK are investing in developing clean fuels. The US is in the process of making hydrogen a viable and completely clean solution for replacing fossil fuels. * here * and * here *. Scotland is making a plant that extracts hydrogen from natural gas to use for power supply. * here * The carbon dioxide that produced in the extraction process is captured and sent down into north sea oil reserves. Not only do they produce a clean fuel, hydrogen, but by injecting the carbon dioxide into the oil reserves, the extent the life span of the reserves by %20.
Honda are the first but all other car companies will follow with small scale production of hydrogen fuelled cars. * here *
Once the zeitgeist becomes “let’s drive hydrogen cars, because we care (and they cost the same, it makes me morally superior etc)”, all the car companies will be forced to make them. Supply and Demand. Capitalism doesn’t care either way, because it can’t. It just caters for our desires.
So you see, WE are to blame.

Take a nap

London_20050708_1051
Originally uploaded by Carlsson.

Well not much to say. Life passes you by and you observe like an incapacitated switchboard. You make connections, you break connections, people come, people go and all the time it is leading nowhere fast. Life is so fleeting it is debatable the present actually exists. Tomorrow is another day and then what? Sooner or later there’ll be no tomorrow regardless of how much or little fun you’re having. Carpe diem I hear you shout from your shallow middle-class college; it was just a film, and if it touched you emotionally the director earned his wage. If everyone seized the day there would definitely be no tomorrow. No the backbone of society are those who never ask why, never venture out, never stray from Oxford Street. I salute you. You are boring but necessary for social stability. Pat yourself on the back and take some extra valium tonight, ‘cause tomorrow is going to be exactly like today, except you’re going to be one day older and your world one step closer to nothing.
Never mind.

Play it safe

do you really need another pair of sneakers? Does it bother you that the pair you spent £299,99 on has broken already? Does a 299,99 pair of sneakers make you a better person, more devoted husband or independent woman? Does it make you better in bed? Does it cure the cold? Does it feed you at night? (this question does not apply to Phil Knight) Does it relieve the endless self induced boredom of post millennial – post modern existence? Only dumb people or those with compulsive shopping disorders (another turn of the millennium phenomenon, eagerly endorsed by marketing flunkies world wide) think it’s cool to pay £299,99 for something that at the end of the day is purely practical. Which the price should reflect. It’s safe to say that a £150 out of the £299,99 you pay for nothing. For artificial and market derived kudos. Soulless symbolism signifying only that you are superficial and have to buy your life style(s). It’s only a fucking shoe. Get over it. They want you to want to buy it, and you’re falling hook, line and sinker. Add to that the ridiculous price. Which has no reflection on the actual cost of the product. Don’t believe the hype, just buy it™. Fools.
And how many fucking people actually need special air pockets in their shoes. 90% of trainer wearers are probably overweight, unfit and sitting, right now, in a fast food outlet near you. Stuffing their faces with shit the ‘cooks’ wouldn’t even touch. Still, it’s sporty, innit? And that air Jordan logo embroidered on my shoe makes me run faster. If only I could be fucked to run. I’ll just watch some TV instead. Nice, Friends is on.

Wow cool! A free coca cola t-shirt! Wicked!
(10yr old kid)
Fools! Another free billboard space. All these years and we still get away with it. Another line of…?
(Coke marketing Exec)

We’re all suckers. But those who accept it are idiots.

Assume the identity of a park bench, then try it!

Things to do to make your life better:

a) become rich
b) solve world poverty
c) quit your job (as long as it doesn't interfere with point a)
d) pretend you're cool
e) invest in nice things that you like
f) get drunk whenever, wherever
g) don't start a band
h) get on with it
i) ignore those health warnings that particularly refer to you, i.e. all of them, especially the one about the dangers of eating gravel. I've been eating the stuff for years and I still manage to get drunk

London's Calling, Part III (sort of)

I was going to write some more about the G8 situation having been fed more info from my man on the scene. With today’s events in London, however, the activities of a small group of educated but dumb middle class Europeans with a grudge seems to fade rather quickly down the scale of significance.
They should don their black fascist uniforms and come to London. I would like to see them fighting bombs in the Underground. If you believe in something, stand up and be counted. Be proud of your convictions. The Black Bloc and their supporters are cowards, hiding behind masks and their constitutional rights.
My admiration today goes to all Londoners and the people working in our great city.
We work so others don’t have to, bombs or no bombs.
My man on the scene did tell me something amusing, however. Yesterday evening it became clear that police were planning to raid the eco-site in Stirling. Because the site consists of activists from all over Europe who all have different ideologies and views, it took ages to reach any form of decision with regards to how they should tackle the potential eviction. Meeting after meeting had filled the day, all inconclusive. Because there exists no hierarchy in a gathering such as the one found in Stirling, no one could agree and reach a middle ground from which to proceed. Anarchy indeed.Two acquaintances of mine were supposedly arrested yesterday and had their court case this afternoon. My man on the scene said he’d go see them and offer some support. Although I will be relieved when I know that they have been released, I still harbour little sympathy for them. Play with fire and you will get burnt. It is only a question of time (right or wrong) that people who time and time again get involved in nefarious socio-political activities, whilst being on the dole, living in squats and generally not contributing much except pseudo-aggressive will be picked up by the authorities.

London's Calling, Part II

1700hrs.
Yes there will be more deaths and yes we should not be disappointed that the media doesn't speculate too much on this matter yet. Nothing can be done to save the already dead.
The 33 figure quoted on bbc.co.uk is far from the final, however. As the BBC website itself states, the figure is not including the people who may or may not have succumbed on the exploding bus.
Suffice to say it would have been better had it not taken place.
We as Londoners should be grateful that the attacks weren't on the Madrid scale.
I feel so frustrated knowing that someone saw fit to attack 'my' city, and that I am completely unable to do anything about it.
Most frustrating of all was the fact that I was holed up at work when all this took place, and was forced to watch the events unfold behind my desk. I realise I could have done nothing about it except perhaps exacerbate the situation by being one more individual getting in the way. And yet I feel I should have been there. Odd, really, isn't it?
Just had confirmation that the last of my unaccounted for friends is safe. That was good news.
We should perhaps take some comfort in the fact the London emergency services are better prepared for this sort of event than probably anywhere else in the world.
My condolences to those involved and their relatives and friends.
London hasn't given in to IRA bombings, and we won't give in to this either!
This great city could be under siege from all corners and we would still insist on getting to work on time!

London's Calling

Well it's 1450hrs and I've been hitting 'refresh' on my browser since this morning to follow events via the BBC website. Sitting at work, doing nothing.
I've established that the majority of my London circle of friends are safe and sound, which is a miracle considering all of them use either Kings Cross, Liverpool Street or Bank tube station to get to work. Although not quite on the Madrid scale in terms of casualties, today's events certainly make the activities of the violent G8 protesters seem even more pointless.
As I write this a BBC radio reporter is announcing that people should move around as little as possible in the capital, and preferably stay where they are. The transport network is obviously completely down (tube closed for remainder of today, no buses in zone 1).
I came to work this morning blissfully unaware of events unfolding around me.
I overheard a colleague talking about explosions and seconds later whoever made it to work today was gathered around the TV set. The initial chaos was abundantly clear.
There were no clear reports as to exactly what had happened, how many incidents had taken place, how many people were hurt and indeed who was to blame.
As always I left home with my camera. My boss suggested we all go home, but several of my colleagues insisted we stay for our own safety. This forced me to follow events from my shit Mac feeling completely paralysed and frustrated. Not that I could have done much had I been let out of work, but every atom in my body told me I had to hit the streets and somehow help document the chaos and soak up the atmosphere. This was not a cynical urge, because I see nothing funny in what has happened. But having to pretend to work whilst my city was under attack seemed completely idiotic.
What surprised me was the fact that several of my colleagues just sat at their desk, diligently slaving away, showing absolutely no interest in the mayhem unfolding less than a mile away in all but one direction. It's not like millions of lives or indeed £'s depend on the work done in this office. Wow! I am really surrounded by sad, strange people….
One of them approached me wit a work related question, to which I could only muster a blank stare as a response. What is wrong with people? Outside the front door Londoners were dying as we spoke, yet the only thing some of my work 'mates' could worry about was the extent to which a particular grant offered was for research or education.

What a strange day so far. I have a feeling it will get a bit weirder before it's over.

So good it's SPAM

Got this in my inbox the other day:

"45 RICHARD AVE.
INDEPENDENCE LAYOUT,
DOBAN-SOUTH AFRICA.
Dear Friend,

I m Kingsley Zuma, the first son of the dismissed
Deputy President of South Africa, Jacob Zuma who
currently and shamefully sack by the order of the
President Thabo Mbeki for his involvement in corrupt
practices of taking bribes and Stealing of Government
Fund totaling $173m and unlawfully enrichment of self.

My father was dubious. I must confess. He made his
money from mismanagement of Government fund, kickbacks
and over invoicing of contract sums awarded in various
Ministries. I always advised him to resist but he
would not listen. He took all his advice from my
stepmother
who always supports all his deeds because she is fully
in charge of his affairs since the death of my mother.

I have personally discovered the sum $19m in secret
known to me alone which I want to transfer out of this
country to help buildup myself,before the Federal
Government, who is doing everything possible to
confiscate both fund and properties owned by my father
and all those that are involved in the dirty acts.

I need your assistance, which must include
accommodating of the fund in your country and also
your assistance on acquisition of residential building
in your country and investing into profitable
ventures. More so investing some percentage into any
Foundation that caters for upbringing of less
privileged children all over the world.

I want you to help me. There are no risks at all. I
promised to give you 30% of the total sum than the
Government confiscating everything, which will be too
bad on my side since nobody would protect my interest
in the family. Nobody protects my interest in the
family when he was in Office as the Deputy President
how much less now that he is shamefully removed and
under surveillance. Like I said earlier your
assistance is highly and urgently needed, not just on
the accommodation of fund alone, but also you advice
on investment and residential acquisition.

At the conclusion of this business, I promised to give
you very reasonable percentage for your assistance and
for maintaining of confidentiality of the issue
because the people here and the system of financial
institutions in place is the scum of the earth. I need
decent person of transparent contents of character, to
transact with. Contact me immediate through my e-mail
address for more details.

Best Regards,
KINGSLEY ZUMA.
REMAINED BLESS"

- to which I naturally replied "fuck off".

Then this morning I found this reply in my inbox:

"I contacted you for a transaction that I feel will be of great benefit for you and I,but in return are insult while I did't meant to hurt you in any way. Iam quite aware of the naferious activities of fraudsters all over the world which makes real and honest business suffer. I can't blame you for being so skeptic,but be possitive and independent in all your thinkings and doings because not all advise are for real.Also in any imitation there must be original first. THINK POSSITIVELY.
Kingsley."

The only reply I could muster was "Don't contact me until you can speak proper english, in fact don't
ever contact me again."

Anyone else had a word from Mr. Zuma, the illiterate son of a disgraced politician?
Feel free to send him a line, believe me it is worth it just for the 2nd grade grammar and naive intentions this person harbours.

mercifulord1@netscape.net

go on, send him some support, and think POSSITIVELY !

Sitting on the Olympic Porch

So London won the 2012 Olympics…
Bollocks! I'll never be able to afford a mortgage in East London now!

In classic British style, no one expected an outcome like this. It was taken as a given that London wouldn't win. Quite frankly I fail to see how the city will be able to deal with the influx of people. The tube system is grossly inadequate to deal with the amount of passengers we currently have, and it is not looking like any real improvements will take place, ever. It's just too hot a potato for anyone to handle.
Furthermore, above ground the transport possibilites (if you can call them that, - I prefer to refer to them as transport IMPOSSIBILITIES) leaves plentifold to be desired.
Congestion charge or no congestion charge, most of London is permanently gridlocked.
Then there's the issue of the Government being capable of handling events of this size.
More than half of the people dumb enough to purchase tickets for the new years Millenium Dome launch spent that evening queuing because their tickets hadn't been sent out in time. Everytime a big event takes place in London, trouble flares up.
Thugs, activists, breezers, hooligans and the like all seem to want to get 'stuck in' when the city is at capacity.
Perhaps the most important point is this: does anyone really care about the Olympics anymore? The football teams suck, all the women look like men and all the men look like walking steroids.
Put shot? What? Equipage? Give me a break..
The Olympics are a waste of media space, Britain won't win anything and terrorists are going to have a field day.
We don't even know if 2012 is ever going to happen. The world could end sometime in 2011. What good would the Olympics do then. I suppose most of the athletes are so artificial that they would be able to go through with it even after a nuclear war.
Booo! Get real jobs!
But worst of all, with all the bloody coverage the Olympics entail I am sure that Quincy will be put on the backburner for the duration of the games.

Monday nite, Tuesday morning

Bumped into an old work colleague today on my way to work.
Seems I am being retrospectively plauded for my 'celebrity sacking' (my colleague's words not mine..). I told him that I unconsciously, and perhaps consciously, wanted everything to collapse and that everything had worked out for the better since.
He then said that quite a few of the hard-core from my previous place were desperate to leave too, and that regardless of how many conversations they would have about finding something else to do, they all just seemed destined to work there forever. Quite a grim predicament, really. I shudder to think that I would still be there, going through the same old motions in what is undeniably one of the shittest jobs on the planet; market research.
It was nice to be told that I still figure in their lives, albeit because I got the sack in such a classic manner. He encouraged me to go see them after work for drinks and what have you as soon as possible. Which I will.
Yesterday the more violently disposed of the G8 protesters in Scotland engaged in several physical confrontations and stand-offs in what is destined to be the first of many such events over the next few days. Watching the events unfold on the BBC, it became clear that trouble was up ahead. I recognise the scenes, of course, having been party to many of them in the past. There is a certain a mount of adrenaline released in the air, so all-pervading that even 'civilised', normal people find it difficult to not get caught up in the affray.
According to several BBC reporters on the scene, the police were unduly heavy-handed and possibly partially responsible for trouble flaring up. My guess is that they want to nip it in the bud, so to speak. By arresting as many violent protesters as possible this early on in the week, perhaps less trouble will flare on Saturday when allegedly huge masses of protester are to descend on the town. Whatever their motives, any neutral observers' immediate discomfort at seeing the police in riot gear press on groups of civil protesters, shoppers and tourists may have dispersed upon seeing scores of pseudo-fascists protesters all decked out in black (black hooded tops, black shades, black scarves around their head and black boots and trousers). My man on the scene informed me that most of the 'Black Bloc', as they are often collectively known, consisted mainly of Germans, Spaniards and Italians. He had attended several meetings early that day before things kicked off and a massive contingent of Blac Block members from all over Europe had presented themselves. My source was surprised at how young they all were, and in his words they 'had no clue'.
Separated from his group after a heavy row with a travel companion, he spent the day observing and successfully staying ahead of the trouble. At one stage he found himself trying to lose the police line, only to find himself right behind a solid group of Black Bloc'ers engaged in a stand-off in a narrow side street. Early that day the police had shut down one of the city's parks, again catching both violent, and non-violent protesters off guard. My source simply jumped the fence and that way managed to avoid being treated like unruly cattle. Whatever their reasoning, if the Black Bloc want urban warfare, which is directly and indirectly what they are promoting, they should perhaps consider using their energy in parts of the world where life is a daily struggle for survival. They seem to forget that without capitalism, they would be unable to cruise around Europe making demands here and there. If we lived in a communist / Marxist / anarchist society, who would pay them their social security? In communist Russia everybody worked, whether they wanted to or not, but they had no choice in what work they were told to do.
I don't want the world run by the Black Bloc, or any other pseudo-fascist, violently disposed cider drinking minority with better things to do. Do you?
And yes, before you attempt a reciprocal discourse, what we have now IS better than whatever loosely configured set of ill-judged ideals and completely draconian dictates on our existence that the Black Bloc and similar groups seem to propagate.
Get a job, join the Foreign Legion or free the people of Zimbabwe!

PS. It would be rather amusing to see a group of hundred or so middle-class European 'kids' all dressed in their black uniform try to topple Mugabe!

I would love to see that.

Then they would quickly find out that life in Europe IS utopia compared to the regimes of many a third world country. Rights to a lawyer? In Zimbabwe? As white, middle-class people unable to use their intellect in a productive manner? That is why we never see the Twat Bloc anywhere outside of Europe, because let's face it, in Europe we are protected by law and constitution.
A middle-aged Scot summed it up best, when interviewed after the bulk of the clashes had taken place she commented "wanting to help Africa is a noble and just cause. This doesn't help, does it?". It certainly doesn't.
PPS. Finally, I was amused by the fact that the majority of the scuffles taking place later in the evening simply involved buckfast-swilling Scottish breezers / louts / thugs, who 'wanted to have a go'.
United we stand, with mob rule we fall.

Language is limiting

DOOR BUTTON PUSH TO OPEN
Originally uploaded by ickoonite.

Language is nothing if not limited. As a race, we can only express ourselves succinctly via spoken or written language (or violence be it murder or suicide). Yet the human race speaks an immense variety of languages and dialects, many indeed most of who are distinctively and entirely different from each other. Translation is bullshit. Language is also culture. The language you speak growing up is directly related to the immediate and broader cultural infrastructure in which you are shaped. I would argue that language goes as far as to shape our faces. A person growing up speaking English (any dialect) will use his or hers face muscles differently due to the pronunciation of a language than that say of someone growing up speaking Cantonese. Language is distinct to culture. Language is a means of sharing and expressing interpretations of our surroundings. Words arise due to a need. If time wasn’t linear, we wouldn’t need words like yesterday etc. Eskimos have something like seventeen different words for snow, all with distinctive different meanings. I bet they don’t (or didn’t originally...) have as many words for money as we do.
The actual words, and their meanings, are hence reflections of the collective societies within any given culture. This is true even within dialects of a language.
A skateboarder will have and use a different vocabulary than say a doctor. Although the overriding language may be the same, the various subcultures of a culture will inhabit expressions, words and combinations thereof that are distinct and different from each other. Simultaneously, the skateboarder in question could be a brother or sister of the doctor in question, so the definitions are hard to establish. Culture is constantly changing, and concurrently language. Perhaps language is precursor to cultural change at times. Anyway... the point is, language is culture. And if language is limiting then well… yeah.
We can only express that which our culture allows. This extends even to body language. This is not to say that no one can feel and experience things that can’t be shared or understood by their immediate culture and cultural heritage. It’s just that some things we find difficult to express and comprehend because our cultural framework has developed no means of doing so. Instead, the words we do have which refer to thought and moods (like melancholy) have become vague. My understanding of melancholy is different, if only slightly from yours. Because of this, we have a cultural pool of words intended to encompass the inexpressible. Melancholy is what people define it as. But if we have no other words to express feelings associated with ‘melancholy’, we can only define it as ‘melancholy’. Of course language wouldn’t work if everyone had their own individual vocabulary – the beauty of language is that it allows humans to function in a social and intellectually progressing fashion.
It has become the job of the arts to fill the gap between the spoken and the felt. There’s no singular way to interpret or appreciate (if at all) Presley’s ‘Jailhouse Rock’ for example. But I bet you that some people, of varying ages and race, will feel a swell of inexpressible emotions when listening to the track. Just as some people get when listening to Sgt. Pepper/Sisters of Mercy whatever.
I’m rambling, and I’m not even that wasted.

Time isn't on your side

Only an hour to go of this snoozy, humid and long Friday. No amount of coffee can wake me up, it's as if I am locked in a mode of mental fatigue and physical restraint.
As the fan positioned behind me in the minuscule office I share with my boss and the IT guy goes through another 180 degrees arc, I glance naively at my watch. Time, and indeed everything else in this cage of a workplace, is standing still. A static moment in time, repeated over a hundred Fridays like this one, probably all over the world. Fighting to keep my eyes from closing and just giving in to the semi-musical audio debris of a million aircon systems and a million words being typed on well-used keyboards.
Must resist. So little time to go. Outside the clouds are gathering and another fantastically rainy summer weekend is beckoning. Dreaming of being free, of having no worries in the world, of being master of my own time and destiny.
Right now someone somewhere is enjoying the freedom that only having no job and no discernible future allows. Free to wander the streets, free to wake up late and watch afternoon TV, free to get lost in the galleries and museums of the city.
Once that person was me, however I never fully enjoyed the freedom I had. I never took full advantage, and the days became years. Time passes too fast when you have all of it in the world.
Without a purpose, tomorrow becomes yesterday, yesterday becomes today.
If I could do it all over again I would, but this time I would enjoy it for what it's worth, guilt-free, care free and without direction.